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Nostalgic

I woke up with distended eyes. Painful. With a heart that's aching. Bleeding. And with a nose stuck with . . . (you know what it is.) . . . Finding it hard to breathe. Gasping for air. For me to be able to survive . . .





So my day went . . . unperfectly good. Staring blankly again in front of the teacher discussing some important points on our lesson.

I can't blog. I really can't. But I have lots of drafts. Unpublished posts. But why can't I post it? Ah! Some thoughts are missing. Incomplete it is. And I don't know what to do about that. I don't know. Being blank again.

Okay. I'm depressed. What now? I'm depressed and sad. And I can't blog. And I hate it. I'm not suicidal. But . . . I really feel sad. down. depressed. fooled. bullshitted. whatelse?!

Currently, I wanna kill a person. Bad am I? I don't think so. I wanna kill that person. I wanna stab, punch, pinch, slap, kick, shoot, slice, and everything else, him to DEATH! I think the person deserves this. I just hate him. I hate him so much. If only I could. I know I can. With my powerful hands, for sure that person will be dead. But I can't. I don't know why. Maybe because there's something left here in my heart for that person. Or maybe my conscience tells me so. I think I'd better choose the second one.

I'm actually off to school right now. I still have my Political Science class. But I thought I should say bye-bye first. I'll be out for the mean time. Picking up my self back. Searching for my senses. Looking for my missing smile. My good mornings as well as my peaceful nightfall which were shattered.

Pray for my soul. (Just kidding.) This will be okay, right? Everything will be alright. I'll be okay. I'll be fine. Soon. Make it sooner. I wanna get the hell out of this nostalgia. It kills me. Every single day. Hoping I'll be having fun with Munato Festival, foam party, and other stuffs like that.



See you when I'm totally fine. :D

The Invisible War of a "Literally" blank-faced-absent-minded-Bloghuntress

There's nothing in this post, really. Just sharing, or rather updating all readers (if there are. lol.)

I've been literally blank these past few days. It's about two weeks now, I think. I feel so down, pissed, angry, somewhat happy but sad, excited but nervous. I don't know. I feel like writing a poem, but it never rhymed, singing a song, but was out of tune, posting a blog, but ran out of words. How weird is this feeling of mine that I couldn't even understand. I was about to start some work but I ended up sleeping, opened my notes to study for a quiz but I went on blog hunting, thought I was listening to some music, but consciously watching the television. And now, currently blank again. Wondering what I'm blogging about and why do my fingers type so fast with all these words appearing on my monitor. I'm blank. Really. Totally. Absolutely blank. Superbly.

As I said, there's nothing in here.


Here's a vid of the song Invisible War by Sitti Navarro, a bossa nova artist. This song was originally sung by Julia Fordham but I chose Sitti's version over Julia's 'cause I like it more. I can feel the meaning of the song more in Sitti's version rather than Julia's. I don't know if I'm having an invisible war with someone. Maybe. Probably. Possibly. But, no way. Never. (:



And the dramatic lines go this way...

Invisible war, seems we're fighting an invisible war
Strained manoeuvres, keeping silent score
In this invisible war
Every day I seem to lose you more
Both wishing it was like before
In this invisible war

Talk about a fine line between love and hate
We've lost more than our direction of late
Talk about a fine line between lovers and friends
We've never been lovers and now we're not even friends

In this invisible war, seems we're waging an invisible war
Every day I seem to lose you more
In this invisible war

It wounded deeply the scar is here to stay
Opening up at all the little things I do and say
You always want things to be as before
So I make you angry and you bleed a little more
In this invisible war, seems that we're waging an invisible war
Every day I seem to lose you more
In this invisible war

Want to go away (I still love you)
Got to go away (I always love you)
Got to be away (Time heals all wounds)


How I love the song. the lines. and the singer. (I really do like Sitti. :D ) Isn't it nice? The pain that the girl bears. Oh. Don't tell me I'm a masochist. :D I just love the lines.


I'll still be insisting that there's nothing here. =) Talagang talagang talaga. :)


Currently taking my breakfats. Ooppsss. Breakfast I mean. :D Hot chocolate plus the sinangag plus the "walang-sawang-mahiwagang-itlog-na-may-chopped-beef-loaf". Oha? Will your morning still be bad with this? Not to mention eating with the whole family. :D :D

(I sound really hyped this time. LOL!)

So, while eating my fatty-breakfast, I thought of making a story about the Invisible War of a literally blank-faced-absent-minded-soldier. Wouldn't it be funny? A soldier with a blank face and an absent minded one having a war that is invisible?! hahaha! But, can't sum up the thoughts that run through my mind. The words are running fast. I can't catch up. |=



I told you, there's nothing here. =)

www.BeatBlack.etsy.com

Sarah and I are not really friends. But I'd like to participate in her contest-like give-away promo. :D



She decided to give one lucky winner a $50.00 gift certificate to spend in her shop. Just check out the rules of entry below to see how you can be a part.



Da Rules:
Everyone is eligible and I do ship worldwide so don't hesitate. The ways to enter are very simple. You can do a lot or a little here and still be entered for the draw. This contest will run from November 5th until November 21st with the winner (chosen by random.org) being announced on the 23rd. If I can't get in touch with the winner after 4 days time another will be randomly selected.

The $50.00 will not only pay for your items but the shipping aswell so if this sorta jewelry ain't your thing you can always give it away as a gift.

Here we go on how to enter :)

For 1 Entry:

leave any old comment about any old thing on her post. Don't forget to leave your contact info if you don't have a blogspot account.

or

For 3 Entries:
Visit my shop at www.beatblack.etsy.com then come back here and let me know which item is your favorite.

For 5 (possibly more) Entries:

Write a post about this giveaway on your blog including a link back to this post. Then leave the address of your post in the comments section so I can add your 5 entries.


*backlink to her post: Sarah's BeatBlack

I love your blog!

Thanks to Bam (The Pakarazzi Experience) for this. Love your blog too!




The rules of the award are:
1. The winner can put the logo on his / her blog.
2. Link the person you received your award from.
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
4. Put links of those blogs on yours.
5. Leave a message on the blogs of those you have nominated.

Previous awardees: Mabelle, Prily, Ate Norma, I Love Philippines Too, Shenga, Nova, WebbieStuffs, Nancy, Webloglearner, Pinay Wahm, and My So Called Life, Let’s Spice Things Up, Beauty and Shop, Idealpinkrose, allin, kimchiland, Korean Food, The Paper Vision, Embrace Simplicity, Me and Mine, A Window To Our World, A Grateful Heart, Can of Thoughts, A Mother’s Stuff, http://housewifeatwork.blogspot.com/, MommaWannabe, Lourdes Mia, Praning’s Shoutout, When Silence Speaks, Etc Atbp, Aeirin’s Collections, Life is What we Make it, Underneath It All, Cellulitic Bliss, 100% Kelly, C'est La Vie, Our Family Adventure!, As We Face Forever, BeinG mYselF, The Pakarazzi Experience, BlogHunt

I am passing this award to Andi, Dylan, Nix, Miong, Iceah, Jasmine and Monica.

Will tomorrow be still as sweet as yesterday for Asians?

Earlier this day with my Anthropology class while my teacher was talking facts about Asia, I was surprised with these two questions she included.

1. Why do most Asians remain poor despite their continent's rich natural resources?
2. If Asia has 60% of the worlds population, why is it that it only accounts 17% of the world's production and industry?
She asked for our own thoughts. And thereafter, conclusion was made.
And for the first question...

-> Some resources are not developed.
Of course, people would find food for their hungry stomachs first. We can't blame them anyway. But, what's wrong with our attitude is we wait for someone to put action to it. To make the changes possible. I mean, can't we start it within ourselves? And to say, big changes come from the small ones.

-> The developed resources are mostly controlled by Western multinational companies and not by Asian entrepreneurs.
The mentality of the Asians (and as perceived by my mentor as well), is that Western people or other countries study and after that, they build, put up or develop companies. Asians are the other way around. They study and have titles to serve. It's like, Western people are their bosses while Asians are their members.

-> The environment is not protected from natural or man-made damage.
People never realized what would it cost as a whole when they slowly obliterate our natural resources. AND for sure, people will just protect it after it has been damaged. tsk!





For the second question...

-> Asians generally do not earn enough to feed, clothe, house, and care for themselves in the same standards as Westerners live.
Okay, let's face it. Worker's salary is just enough for their basic needs. Nothing more, nothing less. If ever there would be more, then good. but if there's less, that's a problem...again. Asians work hard to be sufficiently compensated for their efforts but Westerns work and get paid per hour.
-> The production and distribution of the world resources are controlled by companies based in United States and Europe.
Of course, we get resources from the West, that's why we have no control for it. But, can't we have our own? So that at least we could minimize the money that the Asians are handing over since it's just within Asia. (or it's just I don't exactly know the flow of business here...?)
-> Asian countries mostly rely on foreign technologies and capital.
Though Asians are really really skilled in the techno-world, they still depend on foreign-made innovations or modernizations. I wonder why. Well maybe it's most probably because of financial constraints.

(I really didn't get this last part, but then, I think here's the idea of it.

-> The rich forests in Asia are suffering the fastest rate of destruction.
For the reason of not valuing the importance of these natural resources, people tend to neglect and be careless of it. If we do not take care of it now, who will? When? We must take action now, or it will be gone forever.


So what are all the Asians waiting for? Should we wait for things to be in its worst situation? And tell me people, what do you think should Asians do...? Will tomorrow be still sweet for us, like yesterday..?

For richer, For poorer

"Philippines is really rich in natural resources. Compared to others, Philippines is really rich. .... In other places, they are not really rich, but look at their highways, four-laned, and their facilities are complete as well as the services. Bakit kaya ganun noh? Because the taxes that the people are giving comes back to them . . . ? Ganun kaya siguro noh? Eh dito kaya sa Pilipinas? "

Yan ang mga salitang isinambit ng aking guro sa aming klase sa STS (Science Technology and Society). Hindi ako taimtim na nakikinig sa kanyang mga sinasabi nung mga oras na iyon ngunit nahuli niya ang aking atensyon sa mga salitang kanyang binitawan. Natahimik ang aking nawawaring pag-iisip. Bigla akong nakinig. Marahil ay dahil ako'y nakaupo nang may kaunting distansya mula sa kinatatayuan niya, o marahil kaya'y dahil sa interesado ako sa mga ganitong klaseng bagay. Walang pinagkaiba ang aking mga natanto sa mga tarok ng kanyang isipan at mga natanong niya. Katulad niya, nagtataka rin ako. Mayaman ba talaga tayo . . ? O naghihirap na nga ba talaga ang Pilipinas?

Sa dami ng tao sa Pilipinas, hindi sila nakakatakas sa pagbabayad ng buwis. At sa dami ng taong bumabayad ng buwis, bakit mukhang wala masyadong asenso ang nangyayari sa Pilipinas? Ilang taon nang naghihirap ang Pilipinas, kung di ako nagkakamali. Ngunit sa kabilang punto, may napupuntahan din naman ang binabayad ng mga mamamayan. May nakikita ako kung minsan ay nagwawalis ng kalye, gumugupit ng damo sa gilid ng kalsada at nag-aaus ng mga sira-sira nito. Sapagkat ngayong hindi ko pa nararanasan ang hirap sa paghahanap ng pera at isiping ang parte ng kinikita ko'y napupunta sa gobyerno, hindi ko alam kung sapat na ba ito. At kung tutuusin ay hindi lang iisa ang bumabayad, pagkat milyun-milyon.

Ang hindi ko lamang maintindihan sa ating bansa ay mas pinagtutuunan pa ng pansin ang mga iba't ibang isyung kinakaharap nito. Okay lang naman eh, pero wala na akong nakita at narinig na magandang balita eh. Ang gulo rin ng mga mamamayan. Nagrereklamo kung bakit ganyan kamahal ang buwis na binabayad at kung bakit hindi gaanong umuunlad ang ating bansa, ngunit isang demokratikong bansa naman ang Pilipinas. Wala naman akong pakialam kung nangungurakot ang ibang mga opisyales, kung tama nga ang mga sinasabi ng iba. Mangurakot sila hangga't kaya nila, basta't hindi babagsak ang Pilipinas at gagampanan nila ang responsibilidad nila nang tama. Yun lang ang akin.

Upang mapaiksi ang mahabang kwento ng saloobin, sana'y matauhan na tayong lahat. Una, malapit na ang 2010 Elections. Isigaw ang inyong boses nang sa ganun ay marinig kayo't umunlad naman tayo. Nasa kamay natin ang ating kinabukasan. Pangalawa, sana ay huwag naman tayo masyadong magreklamo sa buhay. Ni hindi nga tayo nagrereklamo kung bakit tayo masaya kung minsan. Magpasalamat na lamang tayo sa mga unos ng ating buhay. Doon ay natututunan nating tumayo muli nang taas noo. Huwag narin sana nating pagtuunan ng masyadong pansin ang mga walang kwentang bagay. At ang nakaraan ay nakaraan na. Lilipas lang din ang lahat ng 'yan at maglalaho. Huwag tayong makulong sa nakaraan. At ang huli, sa maliit na bagay nagsisimula ang lahat. Pahalagahan natin ang mga mumunting bagay na andiyan sa ating paligid. At nawa'y tayo'y umusbong narin.

At kung ibabalik ang katanungan kanina, na kung saan napunta ang mga buwis na ibinabayad ng mga mamayan, hindi ko alam at wala akong ideya. Ayoko ng alamin pa. Kung nasaan na man yun na dapat ay sa pag-asenso ng Pilipinas, marahil ay nasa mabubuti ng kamay.


Tayo'y kumilos pagka't nasa atin ang kapangyarihan.

One Unproductive Day Coming Up!

Being unproductive is one thing that I personally dislike and admittedly, I am oftentimes like that. Ironic it is but gaging it by the end of those days, I was somehow . . . prolific. LOL.

Going back to what I was uttering about being unproductive, this is one hell of a very unproductive day. Excluding the part of attending the mass, of course. I just had an hour of my Economy class, though it didn't seem to be an hour because of the activity given, and two other subjects with no teacher around. Of course, my Sociology and Political Science classes were a total baloney. I spent time and effort in going to school but then NO ONE SHOWED UP?! It did piss me off that night.

Consequently, to calm down my mood, I stayed at our resto gallery for a while. I got bored, as usual, so funny things popped outta my mind. `Cause of this, it led me to these weird imaginations.

Waitress: Sir, here is your order.
Customer: Thank you miss.
Waitress: If you need anything sir I'll just be standing there, k?
Customer: I know. I'm not blind yet miss. I can still see you.


Waiter: May I take your order sir?
Customer: Do you serve water here for free?
Waiter: Yes sir.
Customer: Okay, I'll have one glass please.


Waitress: So do you have your orders now ma'am?
Customer: I want to order the dishes you don't have here in your menu.


Sorry for those imaginative conversations. I really don't know where they came from. There are lots of it but I didn't put all. It sounds . . . Nevermind. As I end this post and this day, I'll leave you a cheesy joke that has never failed me to laugh at it over and over again.

Question: What's the plural of rice?
Answer: Extra rice.


Have a good night sleep! =)



* supposed to be posted 11-11-08.

"I came back in peace"

So this is another late post again. As in like, VERY late post. I got a bit used to it since classes started already . . . and I hate it a lot! I don’t feel like going back to school yet `cause I haven’t made the most out of my semestral break up till now. But I’ve had enough ambling and it’s getting more and more tedious each day. So, I have to go back to what I’m accustomed to – waking up early and going to school. Total shitness.

When you come right down to my first and second back-to-school-day, it was awful. All mentors were new to me as well as the mates, though I know some of them. Not to mention my Physics teacher last semester. She’s back to haunt us again! She has never made my nerve cells stimulated. And teachers are articulating same points and issues over and over again for two days. I hope they know that it’s annoying at times. (:

So here are the teacher’s I have this time around, and hoping I don’t make my pad full of writings from what they’re saying, which is so not related to the subject, but from what I’ve learned from them. (:


It’s-orientation-day-every-day-teacher – This kind of teacher is someone who orients students, and orients, then orients, and be oriented again, until they get oriented. =) Somehow you want to start the lesson proper already but the teacher still orients the students.

I-don’t-wanna-see-you-anymore-teacher – This kind of mentor, obviously, is the one you don’t want to be the mentor anymore. He/She never made you excited on going to his/her class. Seeing and realizing that this kind of teacher is your teacher, it encourages you not to listen to what he/she is saying, and the worst, to be absent on his/her class. And this kind of teacher is like, ‘you have to write everything he/she says because it’s dreadfully funny’. And he/she knows how to kill the time with his/her stories. :))

Do-as-what-I-said-teacher – This teacher is a bit bossy. He/She never fails to uphold that facial expression of “I’m so pissed off by you” when he/she really isn’t. = \

I-am-a-bit-strict-but-a-buffoon-teacher – This one surely is funny, though he/she is firm with particular matters such as time. He/She can put certain things into some kind of funny story and never disappoints the crowd.

Too-late-that-I-can-be-marked-absent-teacher – If the student’s are at times late, this kind of teacher is extremely late. He/She is later that the students. Most terrible, he/she is not present and made you wait for 15 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes and counting… (:


It’s sad that two of my subject teachers did not appear before my eyes yet. But good for them, otherwise they’d be included here. Haha! (sinister laugh)


*BONUS: Maybe you were wondering why I entitled this "I came back in peace." That line was from Buzz Lightyear, from Toy Story. I just added the word 'back'. Well, going back, the title insinuates my first two back-to-school days, more like welcoming me back, and the peace is for the teachers involved. LOL. I really don't hate my teachers nor have antipathy towards them, I can just accidentally spot some of their erroneous distinctiveness and bloopers, of course. Peace! V.V

All Saint's Eve

It's October 31st and everybody's busy doing stuffs like preparing for Halloween parties, visiting the lifeless ones, and etc. Some would prefer to attend mass in the Church, light up candles and pray for their loved one's soul. To sum up, people are celebrating the Halloween season. Celebrating this season for me wasn't really like what other's do. I was able to attend costume parties in school though, but never had trick-or-treating.

Today's a holiday, so things wouldn't crash some office works. And for students, it's in between their semestral break. Anyway, this is the first time that I weren't able to visit the burial chamber of my grandfather. Though I haven't seen him ever in my life, it's still weird that I cannot just even visit him. I missed the times that we would go there under that burning and hurting heat of the sun to offer prayers for him as well as to some relatives since their chambers are just adjacent. Since we weren't able to go home to our hometown, my mom decided to go to San Carlos Memorial Cemetery, which is now known as Forest Lake. When we arrived there, I was surprised by what I found out --- an ongoing poster and slogan making contest, which was judged by my mom and her 2 friends, a background music which sounds a lot like disco songs, and a movie marathon later that night. I was stunned. Isn't it supposed to be celebrated solemnly? Anyhow, after such a boring afternoon, the night part was a bit fun. Just a bit. While the operator's preparing for the movie to be rolled, he played clips from i-don't-know-what-or-who-is-his-source or where'd he got the clips about some hilarious reality japanese/korean tv show. Soon then we were eating our dinner while cracking up some jokes and laughing over those jokes thrown. But there's one joke that made us laugh and laugh and laugh. It's a bit tacky though.


The Forest Lake Staff gave 5 packed meals enough for us, then she asked...

Forest Lake Staff:
Kulang pa maam?
Teacher Emilie:
....... (hesitant to answer.)

Then, the staff left another one packed meal, so, that'd make it 6 all in all. And the joke started here . . . somewhere between our messy conversations . . .

Teacher Emelie:
Naawa siguro yung babae sa akin kanina ba. Siguro sa isip niya, "Parang kulang pa man ito sa kanya ui." Kaya niya siguro dinagdagan ng isa pa.

So, the staff thinks Emelie is double. :)) Then she, Emelie, added this part. *highlight*

Teacher Emelie:
Kaya pala kapag sasakay ako ng tricycle tinatanong sa akin, "double ride maam?"




We all can't help it but to guffaw. :))

And of course, for the documentation, which is very important in nursing profession, I took a picture late in the afternoon this day. Just a remembrance from that day, and for all first times I had.

o



**Sorry for the very late post.

Restoration

After taking a long break from this kind of society and obliterating the older account, I’ve decided to bring something back into use. After all, I missed doing this and keyed up to say . . .


I’M BACK! (: