I woke up with distended eyes. Painful. With a heart that's aching. Bleeding. And with a nose stuck with . . . (you know what it is.) . . . Finding it hard to breathe. Gasping for air. For me to be able to survive . . .

So my day went . . . unperfectly good. Staring blankly again in front of the teacher discussing some important points on our lesson.

I can't blog. I really can't. But I have lots of drafts. Unpublished posts. But why can't I post it? Ah! Some thoughts are missing. Incomplete it is. And I don't know what to do about that. I don't know. Being blank again.

Okay. I'm depressed. What now? I'm depressed and sad. And I can't blog. And I hate it. I'm not suicidal. But . . . I really feel sad. down. depressed. fooled. bullshitted. whatelse?!

Currently, I wanna kill a person. Bad am I? I don't think so. I wanna kill that person. I wanna stab, punch, pinch, slap, kick, shoot, slice, and everything else, him to DEATH! I think the person deserves this. I just hate him. I hate him so much. If only I could. I know I can. With my powerful hands, for sure that person will be dead. But I can't. I don't know why. Maybe because there's something left here in my heart for that person. Or maybe my conscience tells me so. I think I'd better choose the second one.

I'm actually off to school right now. I still have my Political Science class. But I thought I should say bye-bye first. I'll be out for the mean time. Picking up my self back. Searching for my senses. Looking for my missing smile. My good mornings as well as my peaceful nightfall which were shattered.

Pray for my soul. (Just kidding.) This will be okay, right? Everything will be alright. I'll be okay. I'll be fine. Soon. Make it sooner. I wanna get the hell out of this nostalgia. It kills me. Every single day. Hoping I'll be having fun with Munato Festival, foam party, and other stuffs like that.

See you when I'm totally fine. :D


Tanchi said...

ai..sus...nag-inemo na sad..haha

Victor Kiu said...

Hope u get well soon!!

sej said...

@tanchi: mean!! =p
@victor: thanks for the concern.