Ako'y inaantok na,
Ngunit kinakailangan kong magising pa.
Upang matulungan ang aking ina,
Sa kanyang mumunting itinitinda.

Sa dalawang tasang kape,
Wala man lang nangyari.
Ang mata ko'y tila patuloy na nahuhulog
At ang katawan ko'y sabik nang matulog.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit,
Ngunit ang kape ay hindi epektib.
Parang tubig na lamang ito,
sa aking katawang naaabuso.

Sa kama ko, ako'y napadaan,
Parang napapalapit nang dahan-dahan.
Palakas nang palakas ang tukso,
habang patuloy akong lumalayo.

At sa wakas!
Anim na oras man ang lumipas,
makakasama ko narin ang aking unan
na sabik na sabik ko nang hagkan.

Wala man akong ideya sa aking mga isinasambit
Pagpasensyahan na't di na mauulit.
Ako'y SABOG lamang,
Sa di malamang dahilan.
Marahil ay sa kapeng ako'y napasobra,
o di kaya'y sa magdamag na bukas ang aking mga mata.

*just bored. =| going to sleep now, GOOD MORNING! :D


FRIENDS -- are people whom you know, and who know you. Though you both know each other, still no one knows what is running through his or her mind...

My brother and I went out on a date...... *Ooppss. Sorry. I mean, shopping. LOL. And like the usual, every time we go to the mall, we play an unnamed game. We look for friends and the one with the highest number of friends seen is the winner. So, while we were searching, we decided to play at Worlds of Fun. And there I found my first friend.
"Uy Jess! Ang ganda-ganda mo na." ["Hey Jess! You look gorgeous now."]
She said with an excited expression. "WTF!?" I said to my inner self. Did she just say that?! After hearing that statement and the little conversation we had, there's only one thing that crossed my mind and never left throughout the time we were talking. *later* On our way to the exit, the baggage boy, I mean, the baggage gay told my brother, "Ang cute mo." ["You're cute."] I was like, "Shuddap will you?! Just get our stuff so that we can go now!" (I just hate it when gays are like that to my brother.) Afterwards, my brother said, "Narinig mo yung sinabi niya? Sabi niya cute ako!" ["Did you just hear what he said? He said I'm cute."] He opened that topic first so I counter-attacked him with the little conversation I had with my friend earlier. And he said, "Ibig sabihin pala hindi ka maganda dati." ["So it means you're not gorgeous before."] And that was the only damn thing I thought a while ago. Ohman, he really is my brother, I should say. "WTH, was I really that ugly before??"

FRIENDS -- are still friends though you rarely see each other.

Saudi Arabia is a plane away and is far from Philippines. But they say distance is not and should never be a hindrance in your friendship. Well, I'm not saying that there's something that's obstructing the progression of our friendship. I just miss our chitchats. That's all. =| And, a few blocks from your home won't hurt that much right? But then, ohsh*t. I just really miss her and our chitchats. =(

FRIENDS -- are people who are not a total stranger to you and whom you consider as a family member too.

In one particular chapter of my life, we were separated by fate. So, to make the communication a bit personal, we used to write letters to each other. And in one of her letters she wrote, "I can be your friend if you like." And so, she became my friend and my mom as well. In this present time, we're now close to each other. But, I don't know why and for some reason, I miss her.

FRIENDS -- are weird but fun to be with, special and close to your heart, and mostly, they're the ones you'll die for. True friends. Real friends. They are whom you cannot live without.

Your Universe

I've been listening to a specific song over the radio for about a month now. This song got into my nerves for an unknown reason. And it's so weird that I just looked for it through the net just now. Well I used to google it right away before. Anyway, here it is. :D

Tell me something
When the rain falls on my face
How do you quickly replace
It with
A golden summer smile?

Tell me something
When I'm feelin' tired and afraid
How do you know just what to say
To make
Everything alright?

I don't think that you even realize
The joy you make me feel when I'm inside
Your universe
You hold me like I'm the one who's precious
I hate to break it to you but it's just
The other way around
You can thank your stars all you want but
I'll always be the lucky one

Tell me something
When I'm 'bout to lose control
How do you patiently hold
My hand
And gently calm me down?

Tell me something
When you sing and when you laugh
Why do I always photograph
My heart
Flyin' way above the clouds?

This is Rico Blanco's second single with his new album, "Your Universe", after he left his ex-band Rivermaya. The song Your Universe, which is released after Yugto, a tender ode to love according to FN, is such a perfect and honest love song.. He featured Nathan Azarcon on bass and Wendell Garcia on drums. It sounded like it was still Rivermaya though. But I am so delighted with his new album and new songs to share.

Since I just heard it over the radio and I can't even catch the DJ saying who the singer is, I thought it was Coldplay. It just sounded somewhat like Coldplay. I was amazed when I found out it was Rico Blanco. I really admire his talent. I really do. I wonder how he made the lines. Some said Rico made this for KC or was inspired by her. I haven't searched the story behind this though, so I can't say if it's true or not. Well, Rico is still amazing and he never fails his fans. :D

Enjoy the song!

I wish you a Merry Christmas

It's Christmas Day yesterday, right?
I almost forgot. Did I? I did. I did not.
Who wouldn't anyway? It was like just an ordinary day.
Nothing special.

December 25th, 2008, 1:00AM
Oh that pasta. It made me full. As in like, FULL!
My brother and I didn't go to sleep.
We had fun watching movies.
Oh c'mon, did we?


So the sun come to see us.
Did Mr. Sun really came to see us?
No. He came out to see our eye bags.
Or maybe he came to join eating the leftover foods,
since Santa didn't show up.
Damn he. He damn. lmao.
My brother and I decided to go to sleep.
Zzzzzz. -_-
Mall, with my mum's bestfriend.
Stroll. Stroll. Still strolling.
We ate at Pizza Hut, and was soooo full.
There's nothing for dinner.
Mr. Stomach is still full. Digestion isn't done yet.
So, by 10:00pm, we went home.
Subsequently, we went to bed and had deep sleep.

It sucks. It really does.
Except for the fact that it's Jesus' birthday.
Nothing unusual happened.
Same old day. Same people. Same sky. Same sun. Same moon.

just bored. really bored.

Anyhow, Merry Christmas everyone!
(whoever everyone is.)

The Late Christmas Tree

"Every corner of the world now is filled with Christmas decorations. Well, don't count us in!"

Two days from now, it's Christmas Day already and it's pretty weird that we really did not put any Christmas decoration inside our house. It's . . . . . plain. haha! I really don't know why. Maybe we're just old enough to have those and for me, it won't really matter if there are no decorations around. But until this day came and since my sister has been so annoying about putting even just a Christmas tree, we decorated our haunted house. I said to my little annoying sister, "Nagtayo ka pa ng Christmas tree. Eh, two days nalang, Christmas na." Conversing if we put the Christmas tree or not, the bottom line, we really did put one. We finished decorating it by 9:30 in the evening, I think. And I ended fixing things and sweeping the floor (lotsa dust! dammit.) by midnight. I was so tired and stressed thinking of what to put on the tree.

I decided to have the red and gold theme. I like gold, my mom likes red, that's why we had red and gold. My mom said it could've been better if it was all gold. LOL. Anyway, it was easy decorating it since resources were just around and ready to put. I mean, the ribbons, the poinsettias and the balls and the other shaped balls. haha! I don't really know how exactly I'll describe it. For me, it's perfect even without the Christmas lights. It's kinda elegant to look at. The outcome was great. I liked it and was a bit satisfied. LOL! I just said, "great" then followed by "bit" satisfied. That was pretty ironic. haha! But the tree was fine with me. And at least, I felt Christmas in some way.Ü

"Oh, mukhang mayaman na ang Christmas tree natin," my mom concluded.

The Not-So-Lucky Day

The night before that day, I knew my period was coming. I knew it. And it finally came. I decided to take a deep sleep so that it won't stress me much. Being with this body for eighteen years, I am used to this kind of personal matter -- the menstrual cycle. But this time was so unlike the usual.

The Period. The first hour of the morning, which is 7am as said by my brother (and I had no idea how did it become the first hour of the morning), was pretty fine. But as time passes by, my body started to curl, twist, bend, look crooked, have curvature, or whatever you call it. I cannot stand up from my bed. It was painful like hell. Unbearable. Excruciating, that's the term! Well, as my lower abdomen was constricting, I did my daily routine of facial exercise and things followed terribly.

The Mouth Sores. When it's my tongue's turn to do it's rounds, we both noticed four irregularly shaped painful regions of my lower lip towards the inside part of my mouth. Four mouth sores at the same time with the excruciating lower abdominal pain. It was still . . unbearable. Dammit. I cannot move my lower jaw that much because, unluckily, the mouth sores were located parallel to my teeth. Both would accidentally rub against each other. Extremely painful it is. Tsk! I cannot talk, eat properly, eat much, eat the things I wanted, even yawn, but most especially, smile and laugh as hard as I could. I hate it every time I am talking to my brother because we laugh a lot each time we have our little conversations. And I am so pissed that every time I try to expand my orbicularis oris, which is known as the kissing muscle, it always ends up with no-reaction-like face. As much as I wanted to laugh at silly jokes, I can't.

Through the day, I was grumbling. But, I can't do anything about it. I have to go through it and just keep believing that this shall pass. I know this will too. And this was the main reason why I was out for a long while. I can't even stay too long blogging with that pain. Still suffering with the effin mouth sores for about a week now, I still blogged. LOL. It's unbearable even now, but a bloghuntress can't help hunting. :D And now I'm back again, hoping the sores will be gone eventually. :)) *curse those mouth sores and that effin lower abdominal pain.

Ang Pasko ay Sasapit

Habang patuloy na umiinit ang aking ulo nung gabing iyon, di ko maiwasang bumaluktot sa ilalim ng aking makapal na dilaw na kumot. Malamig ang gabing iyon. Ako'y giniginaw. Hindi ko nakayanang bathin ang gabing ubod ng lamig. Hindi na naitatago ang lamig ng mga gabi ngaun kahit na sunog na sunog ka na sa init tuwing tanghali. Sulit na sulit ang lamig sa gabi kung ang init na nararanasan mo mula pagka`gising mo hanggang sa maghapon ay tulad dito sa Pinas. Ngunit malamig man ang mga gabi ko'y mainit parin ang aking ulo.
"Malamig ang simoy ng hangin.
Kay saya ng bawat damdamin."
Oo, malamig na ang simoy ng hangin. Ika-labing-apat na ng Disyembre at patuloy na lumalamig ang simoy ng hangin gabi-gabi. Bagaman nangangatog, wari'y nasasabik pa ang karamihan sa nalalapit na okasyon -- ang Pasko.

Pasko. Ano nga ba ang Pasko? Nalalapit na ang Pasko kapag "ber" months na ayon sa karamihan. Simula sa unang buwan ng kanilang tinatawag na "ber" months, Setyembre, nag-uumpisa na silang mag-bilang ng araw. At kahit Nobyembre pa lamang, dinig na dinig na tunog ng mga kumakalog na tansan ng mga batang nangangaroling. Pagkatapos ay binibigyan sila ng piso. Ngunit kapag ang narinig mo'y gumigitara na may panderetang kasama at tila tunog choir na ang mga kumakanta, hindi ka makaka-hinding bahagihin ang lima o sampung piso mo sa kanila mula sa iyong kakarampot na kinitang pera. Hindi ko rin alam kung dapat bang ikatuwa o patuloy na mairita sa mga batang pulubing imbis na hingin lamang ang piso mo eh idadaan na lamang sa pangangarol. Hindi narin maitatago ang nasasabik na pagmumukha ng mga batang nais lagyan ng palamuti ang kanilang tahanan. Magtatayo ng krismas tri, maglalagay ng mga bolang kumikinang at ng pulang bulaklak, at pati narin ang kumukuti-kutitap at bumubusi-busilak na mga bumbilya ayon kay Joey Albert. Sabik na sabik narin ang mga tao sa Simbang Gabi, ni hindi ko ngasigurado kung ano ang nkakaparami ng tao sa simbahan -- kung yung pwede ka bang mkahingi ng hiling kapag nakumpleto ang siyam na araw o ang tinapay at kape na libre kainin sa likuran ng simbahan. :D

Maaari bang mawala ang pagtanggap ng mga regalo? Este, ang pagbibigay pala? Ito na siguro ang isa sa mga pinakaaabangan ng mga bata, lalong lalo na ang mga bata-isip. (Ito rin ang pinaka-paborito ko sa lahat maliban sa kaarawan!) Kung ano'ng saya ang madarama mo kapag may natanggap kang regalo mula sa iyong kaibigan o kamag-anak, ganun din ang hirap at pagod ang mararanasan mo tuwing ikaw ang mag-reregalo. Nakakaloka! Nakakabaliw! Nakakapraning. Pero, masaya naman lalo na kung hilig mo ang pagbabalot ng regalo. It's better to give than to receive, sabi nga nila. Nakakatuwa at nakakagaan ng kalooban.

Pero kung ako ang tatanungin, simple lang ang kahulugan Pasko. Hindi na mahalaga kung may isang daang araw pa bago sumapit ang pasko, kung piso o sampung piso pa ang mawawala sa akin, kung nakakarindi man pakinggan ang kinakalog na tansan, kung kahit isang kilometro na akong sinusundan ng nangangaroling na bata, kung may parol ba na nakasabit sa aming tahanan, kung hindi ko man makumpleto ang Simbang Gabi, kung kapos man ako sa pera, o sobrang yaman ko pa, kung mabaliw man akong maghanap ng regalo, kung may regalo man ako ngayong taon, at kung may mabibigyan ba ako ngayon ng regalo.

Tulad ng sabi ni Charo Santos, "Pagmamahal, wala ng iba." Yun ang tunay na kabuluhan ng Pasko para sa akin, at sana'y para narin sa iba. Ang pagbubuklod-buklod ng pamilya ay mahalaga rin. "No greater gift is there than love," sabi ng Jackson Five. Ngunit nakakapagtaka at isang malaking pala-isipan sa akin kung bakit hindi parin mapayapa ang ating bansa, o ang ating mundo sa kabuuan, gayong laging naisasambit ang salitang "mahal" o "pagmamahal". Kailan kaya matututong magmahal ang bawat isa sa atin? Bagaman isang malaking tanong iyan na kahit sino'y hindi malalaman ang sagot, patuloy parin sana tayong umasa na may liwanag sa dulo ng isang madilim na bukas. Matuto tayong magmahal, magpatawad at lumimot sa nakaraan. Ngunit higit sa lahat, sana'y hindi lamang tuwing Pasko magmahalan.

Maligayang Pasko sa lahat ng mga bumabasa!

Brighter than Sunshine

From eight consecutive days of being out from this society, I surely did miss a lot here. Oh, how i missed this whole thing - the posts, bloghunting and searching for NFB (new found blogmates).

1st day - It was a Sunday and the day should probably be fine like my usual sunday - being with the family. But since I was "emo" that time, my day ended up spending all of my time inside my room paying much more attention to the radio rather than some school work.

2nd day - First day of the school week was boring, not to mention the teachers. I was totally out of my senses and found it hard to focus on school stuffs.

3rd day - The feeling's gotten heavier than the normal. And still, classes are still boring.

4th day - Still, the feeling's getting heavier. And, I really don't know till when can I bear this wretchedness. Or for how long will this stay and make me suffer.

5th day - I've already let go a part of the sentiment. But still, not yet feeling well.

6th day - I've completely let go of it and acceptance was next though it was a bit hard as expected.

7th day - Accepting the "letting-go-of-sentiments" part was hard but still managed to have a brighter look on life now. Not to mention the emo-ness gone astray.

8th day - The present day. Currently fine, okay, and feeling alright. Never been better this way. The excruciating heart feels lighter than ever. It has been cheerful and lively today. Looking at everything positively made the whole thing seem brighter.

Forgiving and forgetting were two hard, really hard, things that one must do in order for him or her to move on from the past. Acceptance seemed easier than those two mentioned earlier. But to sum it all, it was sweetly arduous to handle. On the contrary, I'm pretty optimistic now. Thanks to all who were concerned and most especially to God for keeping me secure, calm and steady.

Henceforth, every mornings I have will always be brighter than sunshine!